The Right Allocations
by dottsie
Summary: "You are a god, and I am a genius."/ Or how Jack-Jack became Edna's apprentice.


The wheels of Jack-Jack's bike tore against the pavement as he pedaled up the driveway to Edna's mansion.

He didn't need to wait long for security to let him in. The gates had already begun opening as he approached them, so he had no need to slow down. He just waved at the camera, thanking the guard for his punctuality.

It was 3:15 p.m. on a Wednesday, after all. The exact time Jack-Jack always arrived at Edna's place for their weekly get-together. He was expected.

He breathed in the air from her lawn of fake grass, and was strangely comforted by the slightly artificial smell. Artificial wasn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, artificial didn't mean you had to pay someone to mow your lawn all the time, and that it always stayed pretty and green.

Regardless of his affinity for Edna's house, he couldn't help but smirk thinking about how his own father complained about the landscaping there. The man liked taking care of a real lawn. Difference of opinion, Jack-Jack guessed.

He approached the front door, and just left his bike on the ground.

This was where he always left it; it would be fine right where it was. (He made a mental note to have one of his parents take him shopping for a new one. The fourteen year old was shaping up to be Bob's size once he was finished with his growth spurts, and this bike wasn't gonna cut it for much longer.)

(Or maybe he'd get either E or Aunt Evelyn to engineer one. Or he could do it himself! The possibilities were endless.)

Jack-Jack only had to knock on the door once before a tiny woman opened it. She was on the phone, chattering away at some poor unfortunate soul.

The boy stepped in wordlessly, closing the door behind him, and following Edna. She was already booking it to the kitchen.

She did this sometimes. She was a busy gal.

"No, no, I can't do it, I'm simply _swamped_." As they walked, Edna waved at Jack-Jack with their shared grin, and went back to her conversation. "What do I look like, a speedster? I have far too much to do and not enough hands. It can't be done."

Pause. "Oh, _fine_ , if you insist, darling. Come over tomorrow."

She paused as they entered the kitchen, listening intently to the other end of the line. "What? Oh, your plane tickets have already been paid for, Simon. Who do you take me for? Goodbye!"

The phone snapped shut. It was an impressive, slick new model that Uncle Winston's sister (Jack-Jack still didn't know her that well; he didn't see her a lot) had been working on. It was portable. _A portable phone_! It was so cool. Of course Edna would have one of the first ones before they were released to the public.

The woman was already making cocktails for the two of them, and they hadn't even exchanged a single word yet: a White Russian for her, and a Shirley Temple for him.

He sat at the counter, swinging his feet. "Who was that?"

She waved her hand. "Simon Paladino."

"Who?"

"Gazerbeam, little one."

Jack-Jack gasped. "Hey, he was friends with my parents! Isn't he dead?"

"Evidently not, unless it was a ghost I just scheduled an appointment with." Edna hopped up on her seat at the kitchen island after setting their drinks down. "I thought that idiot Syndrome had claimed him in his genocide, but thankfully, that wasn't the case. Simon says he's making his comeback soon. Can't wait to hear the story on how he pulled off faking his death for all those years."

The boy's mouth hung agape. "That's amazing."

Edna nodded. "It's always lovely seeing people from the glory days are still around, even moreso when they were presumed dead. I do wish it happened more often."

Jack-Jack's eyes were wide with attention. He loved hearing about supers that his parents knew in the 40's and 50's, but he never dared ask them about those people anymore. Since most of them were dead now, it brought up too many painful thoughts in their heads, and he didn't want to do that to his parents.

Edna, however, was a treasure trove of information, as long as the super in question hadn't worn a cape.

Jack-Jack sipped his drink. "So you're gonna be making his new suit? Can I help out?"

"Yes and yes." Edna grinned. "You can see what it's like designing completely from scratch."

A thought occurred to Jack-Jack. It was a thought that had occurred to him many times before, but he had never come out and verbalized it.

It wasn't because he was afraid of being rejected - quite the opposite, actually. He was so sure of its certainty that he never thought to ask about it.

Would Edna take him on as her official protege?

Honestly, Jack-Jack imagined it would only be a formality at this point. He already assisted Edna in a lot of repair and tailoring jobs, and working with both super suits _and_ normal, everyday clothes was a hobby that came naturally to him.

He had thought a lot about it in the past year or so, and he didn't want it to be just a hobby anymore. He wanted to learn _more_. And he had the best teacher in the entire world just twenty minutes from his house.

Which is why Jack-Jack's reply to Edna came out effortlessly, an air of excitement bubbling up inside him. "Can it be the start of my official training?"

Edna took a sip of her drink, as well, pausing a moment before she responded. "Official training?"

"Yeah, I wanna start learning stuff for real. Being your honorary assistant sometimes is _so_ much fun, but I know you've got a lot more to teach me." He shrugged in a good-natured way. "And I figured since I just started high school, it would be a great time-"

"No."

The single syllable floated like smog in the air.

Jack-Jack blinked. "Huh?"

"Absolutely not, darling." Edna shook her head. "Having you over is a treat, but a full-time apprenticeship? No."

His heart sank at the unexpected response. "Wh... why not?"

She looked at him as if it were obvious. "Because you have hero duty to attend to! You're a Parr, it is in your blood."

"Hero duty?" He ignored the slight change in the temperature of his blood, pushing the imminent transformation down. He had gotten good at doing that after he started attending school. "I dunno, hero work's fun sometimes, but I don't think I wanna do it all the time. Not really."

Which, in fact, was the truth. Fighting alongside his family was fun on occasion, but he wouldn't want to make it his full-time job, not like the rest of his family had done. Heck, even after he had gotten better at controlling his powers, he still rarely used them at all anymore.

Violet and Dash had taken more to the superhero life. It suited them, and that was great! It just wasn't something Jack-Jack thought about for himself often. It wasn't where he saw himself.

Edna, however, clearly had other ideas. She waved her hand in a dismissive motion again, similar to how she had done while she was on the phone a moment ago. She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "No, no, you've far too much to do simply _right now_ , not to mention once you've grown older and have had more practice!"

"But I don't really want to, E! I don't think that's what I want to do with my life, you know?"

"Ridiculous. It's your fate. Your destiny."

"But I thought you wanted to train me! You said that to my parents, you said I would make a great 'you'!"

"Assisting me on occasion is different than training. And I said that when you were a _baby_ , when we had no idea what the future held. What your _genes_ held." Edna tsked. "Usually, a super's powers will settle on just one or two abilities after having several as a baby, but you didn't outgrow _any_ of the ones you possessed as an infant."

Jack-Jack was... angry with Edna. He had never been angry with Edna, and he didn't like it. He replied, "So?!"

" _So_ , it's very possible you're the most powerful being to ever exist." She shook her head. "If I am the thing that prevents you from exercising your powers, I won't be able to forgive myself. And if you refuse to take on your great responsibility, what does that say about you?"

"So, you're saying designing suits isn't great? Is that not great enough?"

Edna made the most indignant noise Jack-Jack had ever heard, which was saying a lot, considering who he was talking to.

She had hopped up on her stool now to make herself appear taller, but it only brought her to eye level with him, his massive frame rendering her tactic useless.

She pointed at him, however, appearing not to notice the disparity. "No, boy, I'm saying you are a _god_ , and I am a _genius_." Her hands planted themselves on her hips and her voice echoed through the kitchen. "We are both exquisite, but we are both _from_ and _made for_ different realms."

He frowned and crossed his arms. Both of their drinks had been forgotten now. "That's a really dumb reason, Aunt Edna."

There was a heavy silence between them as they stared daggers at each other.

Edna hopped straight to the floor (her pointed high heels clacking as she did so) and headed for the entrance, never stumbling, not even for a moment. Jack-Jack left his glass on the counter, nearly untouched, and followed her.

They wordlessly approached the front door and Edna opened it. Jack-Jack walked outside, resenting the fact that the mansion's front doorknobs only responded to Edna's fingerprints.

He heard the door not-quite-slam behind him, and he picked his bike up, getting on it and preparing for the ride home.

As he rolled down her driveway to the gate, the lasers parted automatically for him. His mind was silent and a cacophony all at once.

Not only was he angry with Edna, he was _sad_. Hurt. Sometimes he had been stubborn with her in the past (he was the only one who could do so without getting an earful), but it had never escalated into something heated and tense like that. He didn't think he had ever had such a short visit with her before.

And to find out her feelings on what he wanted to do with his life was devastating, not to mention confusing.

Was he really making a mistake, not wanting to do hero work all the time? It was fun sometimes, but it also _scared_ him.

An image of Violet flashed in his mind, an image from when the three Parr siblings had taken down a giant robot (not the Omnidroid; this one was much more tame, but still dangerous). One of Violet's forcefields had taken way too many hard hits, and she had a nosebleed that was so bad, it looked like someone had punched her in the face with a steel glove. She had a minor concussion afterward, too, since her powers are connected to her brain. But the sight of her face covered in blood wasn't one Jack-Jack was going to forget any time soon.

Dash hadn't gotten into nearly as many jams as Violet, simply due to the nature of his powers being more suited for offense rather than defense, but when he did, he tended to panic a little. There had been a couple times he got pinned under something heavy, and the sight of his brother looking like he had lost control had the same impact on Jack-Jack that Violet's incident had.

It was what Violet and Dash loved to do. It scared them sometimes, but Jack-Jack could tell how much they both loved the work as a whole. They felt good being able to use their powers, and they felt good helping people.

Jack-Jack felt good helping people, too, but he felt he could do that better as a designer. The suits were just as important as the supers themselves. Edna knew that.

So why was she insisting that it wasn't the job for him? She knew how talented he was. She knew how much he loved it.

Jack-Jack forced himself not to shed any tears until he got home. He didn't want any accidental dimension-hopping to happen while he was on the sidewalk.

* * *

A week had passed since Jack-Jack's last visit with Edna.

Last Wednesday, after Bob and Helen inquired about why he was home so early, he told them everything. They listened with rapt ears.

After he was done with the story, his father had stood up. "I'm gonna call her -"

Both the boy and his mother said "Don't."

Helen turned to her son and wrapped him in a hug. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Don't take it too hard. She loves you, she's just not used to having her ideas argued with." She held his face in her hands, looking into his eyes with motherly affection. "You haven't got to do anything with your life that you don't want to. I want you to know that."

Bob agreed. "She's right. Nobody's gonna make you do hero work if that's not what you want to pursue. We want you kids to have that choice. But I gotta say, it's impressive that you got this far at _all_ with E. I'd give it a week, son. Then go back and talk to her again."

So, Jack-Jack did give it a week. And now, it was Wednesday again.

He wasn't sure if he even _wanted_ to go back to the mansion yet, but he found himself pedaling in that direction after school anyway, his body on autopilot.

* * *

Edna had let Jack-Jack in without a word, and they were as timely as usual with their routine. The only difference now was that the atmosphere of last week's argument still hung around.

The drinks were fixed, the same kind as before, and set on the kitchen island. A White Russian and a Shirley Temple.

A few minutes passed, each of them working on their beverages.

Jack-Jack didn't dare say a word. He was waiting for Edna.

More quiet passed.

And, sure enough, after a few more minutes, she was the one to speak first.

Her voice was slightly strained, like she was struggling to form sentences. "Since we last spoke, I have had time to think about the words exchanged. And, this is the only time I have ever said this, but... I was wrong."

Jack-Jack stared into his glass. He knew if he said something now, he might never hear the rest of what she had to say, so he let her keep going.

"Life is not about filling a predestined role set for you, no matter what my personal feelings are on you choosing not to utilize your powers. Life is about doing what makes you feel happy. And I know how happy designing makes you feel. So… I'm sorry."

And there it was. That was all Jack-Jack wanted to hear.

He looked at Edna with a warm smile on his face, showing that he accepted, and she made brief eye contact with him before looking away.

Another pause from her. It was her turn to stare into her glass now. "I'm getting old, you know. If I do not take on a protege, all my knowledge will be lost. Wasted. And we can't have that, little one."

He looked at her, his smile fading. The boy had thought about how Edna would eventually pass on, yes, but hearing it from her was odd. They always joked about how she was immortal, so much so that it had started to feel real.

And then Edna looked at him, her eyebrows raised expectantly, and Jack-Jack realized that this was her way of saying "yes". "Yes" to training him. "Yes" to making him her official, real apprentice.

So he started smiling again, putting the sad thought aside for another day. "So you'll teach me?"

Edna continued with her monologue as if he hadn't said anything. "Your training will not be like our get-togethers. You will undergo a demanding series of lessons, each one about the art of the super suit. It's not simply about bulletproof fabric. Each garment must be entirely unique, fitting its super's powers while giving them their own personal flair."

She glared at him. "Sometimes, it will not be fun. Sometimes, you will get angry with me. Sometimes, you will hate yourself for choosing this path. It is a difficult career, but a noble one."

She paused, giving him a chance to object or back out, but he didn't. He just listened eagerly, hanging onto her words like they were a lifeline.

Edna continued. "And, as technology advances, so does the suit. If you're still using the same fabrics in fifty years as we use today, I promise you, I will march down from heaven and beat you senseless, I swear I will."

Jack-Jack snorted.

Edna looked at him with a serious expression, her mouth in a tight line. "You will see people die. Clients, friends, and many more. Suit malfunctions happen, no matter what you do, and it will never be your fault. Not once."

The boy's eyebrows drooped, but he kept listening. It was chilling when Edna got completely serious, because it usually came immediately after her cracking a joke. Mood shifts in conversation were her specialty.

"There are risks with every job, and heroism is no exception. But you must never feel that it is your fault if something _does_ happen. Do you hear me?"

A pause.

"I _said_ , do you hear me?"

"Yes." He knew what he was getting into.

"Good. No self-blame. It leads you nowhere. Tragedy happens because the universe is cruel, and life goes on."

Edna briskly opened her sketchbook. "Now, come over here."

Jack-Jack obeyed, looking over her shoulder at the paper lit by glowing flourescent lights.

She began drawing an outline for a super suit (with a pen, no less) with terrifying speed, her hand flowing across the paper, the pen scratching as it left its mark.

Jack-Jack stared wide-eyed at the feat until Edna's voice sliced through the silence and said, "You're going to tell me what the flaws are in this suit design. Call out anything you see immediately. I want you to perform this task as quickly as possible."

He nodded, his brain still processing how she could work so fast. It was still amazing, even after all these years of knowing her.

"Pay attention, little one. You'll be tested on this."


End file.
